An Apology from VantageSP

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-21, 13:58

Alright, anyone who was in the chat at around 12pm (-5 GMT) last night/this morning should know what this is about. To be blunt, I am embarrassed. I would also like to clear up that yes, it was me. I was not hacked, my roommate(s) did not get a hold of my computer, nor was I trolling. I would also like to point out I was not drunk or under the influence of drugs.It was me (not me me, but it was still technically me). I will admit, my behavior was strange last night and uncalled for. TBH it was not my fault, I sort of had a mini-nervous/mental breakdown from all the crap I have endured for the last few weeks. Whether it was stress and pressure from school, to things that happened around the forum. There is also 2 other factors that lead to this metal breakdown, a lack of something as well as a lack of sleep. Many of you have noticed I am up very late... I can't help this. I am finding it harder and harder to go to sleep earlier, it sucks. I don't feel like going into personal details about the whole situation. TBH, I have been thinking about just leaving DN all together. This thought has been there for several weeks. This has to do with some personal issues and some other stuff. Vague yes, but please respect my privacy. I know many of you have been concerned or worried about me and I thank you. If it wasn't for the continuing support from you guys and girls I wouldn't be on DN anymore. I was not aware how many people cared about me here. This becomes more apparent each and everyday. I am usually the person that tries to help people with their problems, help them vent, help them talk it out. But last night when I went "crazy" a few members took the opportunity to try and help me out, talk it out, and comfort me. This means a lot to me. I am glad I have people here who care about me enough to try and help me in some of my darkest hours ever. I don't think I have ever felt that odd EVER. It was the weirdest feeling ever, and I still kind of feel it now but I am trying to fight it with all my strength. It sucks... and I just feel awful for dragging you guys into my shame spiral. I could tell you what I did after I left the chatbox, but that is a story for another day... believe me, it was MESSED up. Thank gawd no one was around to see it. But anyway.... yeah I am sorry. Now I would like to apologize to and thank a few people:

TheVoid: Thanks for trying to help me. I know you were worried when I started to act funny, and I thank you for trying to help me. I am not willing to talk about it now, but maybe later.

Maria: I am sorry for worrying you. I know you are concerned about me, and you have all the right too. I acted strange... Sorry for depressing you...

CatGirl: Thank you...so much for the advice... it really helped a lot..

Zero2Hero: Sorry for calling you a douche. You were just doing your job. Me and you are both under a TON of pressure from school and other stuff. We are not ourselves anymore... You are welcome back on RoC whenever you want. I hope we can put this past us and still be friends.

xxromuloxx: ugh, I don't know you... but I was not very professional. You wanted help with your ban appeal, but I was not in the right frame of mind. I tried to help you, I gave you your ban status and such, but I couldn't finsih the job... sorry

Red_Chaos: I have to apologize for the way I have been treating and talking to you lately. I feel like a tool. I am not usually like this, and for that I apologize. I hope we can look past this...

N Harmonia: I treat you like crap, for no reason. For that I am sorry. TBH, I think you are a good duelist and I don't mind you. I have nothing against you. Just lately I have been acting like a complete jerk to you for no good reason. For that I am sorry.

DarkRiku: Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable in the chatbox and making you leave...

Axel VII: Sorry for being a tool.

Pox: Team Alfredo does not suck, I am sorry for saying this.

The Detonator: Sorry for bothering you.

Badass_Bunny: Sorry for being a jerk. I thought you were trying to pick a fight with me. Again, my frame of mind has been screwed up lately and I am not myself. Sorry for being a spammer and a troll.

Key: Same thing for what I said for BB. I will try and act more professional.

Brad: Sorry for ruining your rep as VantageSP... I just hope I can redeem myself for you...

Nsanejokr: ...

So yeah... sorry to anyone else I have harmed recently... I feel awful and embarrassed about this whole thing... I just need to sort some things out and such... I may be back later today, but for now I need to go and do some personal cleansing of my mind... ugh....

Thanks for being friends everyone... it really means a lot to me... I am glad I have such good friends here...

-VantageSP-

**Rose Dragon** 2011-10-21, 14:08

Van Don't worry, we all care about you and were worried, so I'm glad you made this,

I would understand if you needed time away from DN, I know myself and a lot of people would miss you.
if you ever need to talk just message me OK?
I really care about you and everyone else I met on DN and I don't like seeing friends being sad without being able to try and help,

and sorry for being so worried about you, I'm just a worrier by nature =/

~huggles~
stay strong van!
<3

**DarkRiku** 2011-10-21, 14:09

Hey! Np!

I know the feeling of a nervous breakdown. If that is what you want to call it. I was worried about you. This was not the SP I knew. I just left to give you more time to yourself and to deal with my new status of In-Game Admin.

You are fine SP. Very Happy

**Lovelace** 2011-10-21, 14:13

.....................

**Prince Vegeta** 2011-10-21, 14:22

dude your cool with me , we still good friends bro
so yeah no worries here pal

@N "..........."? why the dots?

**Lovelace** 2011-10-21, 15:06

vantagesp wrote:
N Harmonia: I treat you like crap, because I see everybody else do it. For that I am sorry. TBH, I think you are a good duelist and I don't mind you. I have nothing against you. Just lately I have been acting like a complete jerk to you for no good reason. For that I am sorry.

Fixed that for ya

**Red_Chaos** 2011-10-21, 15:10

D: what in the world did i miss? you were fine when i left you

**3E-hero neos** 2011-10-21, 15:28

Hey dude,

Take a chill, get on less these days and try putting your mind on something relaxing.
Try getting everything in personal life around before even bothering to come online again(no offence).
Stress is never good and you need to get rid of it before playing a children's card game.
I've had a lot of stress with school too a few years ago, it's really bad(saying it in a safe way..).
But okay, you'll get over this heap of crap and be the same SP again, I know you will be.

All for one, and one for all!

**Badass_Bunny** 2011-10-21, 15:42

What the hell happened?

And as far as it goes for your apology to me, that is totally unnecessary, I admit myself that my actions towards you(albeit completely unintentional) did seem as if I was trying to make you angry.

**DarkRiku** 2011-10-21, 15:46

Badass_Bunny wrote:What the hell happened?

And as far as it goes for your apology to me, that is totally unnecessary, I admit myself that my actions towards you(albeit completely unintentional) did seem as if I was trying to make you angry.

He is only trying to make wrongs right.

**012yArthur0** 2011-10-21, 15:59

No worries Vantage. You a good friend, people will forgive you.

You was talking about the random kick war that happened?

**Potus-Mat** 2011-10-21, 16:50

(Wow, yesterday's therapy session was full of pain, was it not...)
Van, Zero, go take a break. Honestly, if you cannot balance life with DN...
No, that is the incorrect direction to go with this...
Well, I must have missed this, so I shall not presume to know what you are going through. However, if I have ever had one interpersonal skill, it is the skill of listening. If you ever need to talk to someone, you know my electronic mail address.

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-21, 20:01

Believe me... it was pretty bad...

**Potus-Mat** 2011-10-21, 20:30

vantagesp wrote:Believe me... it was pretty bad...

Care to talk about it?

**Zero2Hero** 2011-10-21, 20:36

Well, I guess I missed this too, but no matter what, we're always be friends SP. No silly fight can break the Bond that we have.

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-21, 20:38

Yeah, ask nsanejokr, Rose, and thevoid. It was awful.

**Key** 2011-10-21, 20:46

vantagesp wrote:
Badass_Bunny: Sorry for being a jerk. I thought you were trying to pick a fight with me. Again, my frame of mind has been screwed up lately and I am not myself. Sorry for being a spammer and a troll.

Key: Same thing for what I said for BB. I will try and act more professional.

An Apology from VantageSP Pointprovenbyperpetualn

Spoiler:

And why is this here? Shouldn't it be in the farewell section?

**Zero2Hero** 2011-10-21, 20:47

Key wrote:And why is this here? Shouldn't it be in the farewell section?

He never said he was leaving. He only stated that he was thinking about it.

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-21, 20:47

Key wrote:
vantagesp wrote:
Badass_Bunny: Sorry for being a jerk. I thought you were trying to pick a fight with me. Again, my frame of mind has been screwed up lately and I am not myself. Sorry for being a spammer and a troll.

Key: Same thing for what I said for BB. I will try and act more professional.

And why is this here? Shouldn't it be in the farewell section?

Because I am not leaving...

**Key** 2011-10-21, 20:49

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dx
Oh good!

**Potus-Mat** 2011-10-21, 20:49

Yeah, I do not want to win by getting rid of Van...

**Prince Vegeta** 2011-10-21, 20:57

[color=orange]im glad van is still here i don't want van leaving XD

even when someone is apologizing key can be a....[.color]

**kangtuji** 2011-10-21, 21:20

What did I miss

Dramas ?

**{EX} TheVoid** 2011-10-21, 23:14

As far as I remember only Jokr, Piper, and myself were present when the shit hit the fan. I think cicada was there, but he was away or something, idr. Being as I was there in the fact I can honestly say I was in shock. Piper, Jokr, and I all thought you were drunk or something.

Van, I knew it was getting bad when you walked out of Emolga's intervention and signed off MSN. I tried to get in touch with you, to help you, but I wasnt quick enough and I apologize for that. I got worried about you man, and I still am. Im an open ear, Im a therapist, anything you tell me wont be repeated, and I will do what I can to help you if you want it. My MSN is always online, so if I am not home you can just leave the message and Ill see it when I get home.

Just know that the people of DN care about you, but I know I speak for everyone that while we love you here, if you can't handle it because of school then we want you to leave. Not because we don't want you here but because we don't want you to be hurt. Real life comes before DN. Ive been yelled at by TamA and Det for that before, so I know its a golden rule here. You need to do whats right for you, whats right in your life. No one will shun or blame you if you need to walk out, at least during school, in fact we will support you as it will only help yourself.

Van, I hope you listen to what I am saying. I will not tell you to stay or go, but I will tell you you need to follow your head. If your fine then please, please, stay. However if you cant, then we will support your decision to go.

Yours truly,
-A fellow staff member
-A friend
-Carmine "TheVoid" Napoli

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-22, 00:06

kangtuji wrote:What did I miss

Dramas ?

Please don't bring that attitude here... I wrote this topic from the bottom of my heart. You know how hard it was to write this topic? You know how ashamed I was? No, you don't, you could not possibly know. Before you judge a topic, please read it and try and gain an appropriate perspective. Skimming doesn't cut it. This topic is about something that happened to me and several other members. People who cared about me tried to help me because they are my friends. There was no drama. Do not assume... ugh...

BTW, I won't leave... this place is my third home..

**Potus-Mat** 2011-10-22, 00:12

vantagesp wrote:
kangtuji wrote:What did I miss
Dramas ?
Please don't bring that attitude here...

Agreed. You have to be a pretty crap person to say something like that. Or me. You can get away with this stuff if you are me. Huh? O, right. Crap person.

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-22, 00:19

Potus-Mat wrote:
vantagesp wrote:
kangtuji wrote:What did I miss
Dramas ?
Please don't bring that attitude here...
Agreed. You have to be a pretty crap person to say something like that. Or me. You can get away with this stuff if you are me. Huh? O, right. Crap person.

My problem is it seemed like he/she didn't even read the topic... like they have no clue what went on... this topic took a lot of courage for me to write. Only a select few people knew about what happened last night. I didn't have to make this topic. I did this to clear things up for the people who care about me.

**Potus-Mat** 2011-10-22, 00:21

vantagesp wrote:
Potus-Mat wrote:
vantagesp wrote:
kangtuji wrote:What did I miss
Dramas ?
Please don't bring that attitude here...
Agreed. You have to be a pretty crap person to say something like that. Or me. You can get away with this stuff if you are me. Huh? O, right. Crap person.
My problem is it seemed like he/she didn't even read the topic... like they have no clue what went on... this topic took a lot of courage for me to write. Only a select few people knew about what happened last night. I didn't have to make this topic. I did this to clear things up for the people who care about me.

Actually, I am pretty much as in the dark as ever. As always. Zetsubou.

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-22, 00:24

Potus-Mat wrote:
vantagesp wrote:
Potus-Mat wrote:
vantagesp wrote:
kangtuji wrote:What did I miss
Dramas ?
Please don't bring that attitude here...
Agreed. You have to be a pretty crap person to say something like that. Or me. You can get away with this stuff if you are me. Huh? O, right. Crap person.
My problem is it seemed like he/she didn't even read the topic... like they have no clue what went on... this topic took a lot of courage for me to write. Only a select few people knew about what happened last night. I didn't have to make this topic. I did this to clear things up for the people who care about me.
Actually, I am pretty much as in the dark as ever. As always. Zetsubou.

Well, nsane, void and rose. Since they were there. N was somewhat there.

**Red_Chaos** 2011-10-22, 00:27

i just wish i was on the site i was up at that time..but i hope the ass kicking we did in our team duel practice session helped Very Happy

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-22, 00:29

Red_Chaos wrote:i just wish i was on the site i was up at that time..but i hope the ass kicking we did in our team duel practice session helped

Yeah, it made me feel a lot better. Took my mind off things... thanks.

**Red_Chaos** 2011-10-22, 00:32

vantagesp wrote:
Red_Chaos wrote:i just wish i was on the site i was up at that time..but i hope the ass kicking we did in our team duel practice session helped

Yeah, it made me feel a lot better. Took my mind off things... thanks.

NP you would have done the same for me

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-22, 03:15

Red_Chaos wrote:
vantagesp wrote:
Red_Chaos wrote:i just wish i was on the site i was up at that time..but i hope the ass kicking we did in our team duel practice session helped

Yeah, it made me feel a lot better. Took my mind off things... thanks.

NP you would have done the same for me

Yeah I would. What are friends for right?

**Lovelace** 2011-10-23, 20:40

Van, you said you apologize for treating me like crap, yet you haven't changed the way you treat me. Like wth man =(

**Phoenix Wright** 2011-10-23, 20:59

vantagesp wrote:

Pox: Team Alfredo does not suck, I am sorry for saying this.

Don't remember you saying this

apology accepted in either case

also: Do whats best for you, I think we would all rather be happy and healthy, even if it meant you had to come here less/not at all

**{EX} TheVoid** 2011-10-23, 21:11

>.< I just realized you apologized to Pox for insulting TA but not me...?

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-23, 21:14

TheVoid wrote:>.< I just realized you apologized to Pox for insulting TA but not me...?

Lol, sorry. It was on Skype.

**{EX} TheVoid** 2011-10-23, 21:23

But you insulted TA, which I am co-leader of, and you didnt apologize to me... T_T

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-23, 21:30

TheVoid wrote:But you insulted TA, which I am co-leader of, and you didnt apologize to me... T_T

I apologize to you now.

**nsanejokr** 2011-10-23, 21:33

I still love that there's only a couple dots beside my name. Just thought I would mention that. lol

**Adept VantageSP** 2011-10-23, 21:34

nsanejokr wrote:I still love that there's only a couple dots beside my name. Just thought I would mention that. lol

I didn't know what to say to you >_<...

**nsanejokr** 2011-10-23, 21:35

vantagesp wrote:
nsanejokr wrote:I still love that there's only a couple dots beside my name. Just thought I would mention that. lol

I didn't know what to say to you >_<...

I understand. It's cool.

**Potus-Mat** 2011-10-23, 21:35

nsanejokr wrote:I still love that there's only a couple dots beside my name. Just thought I would mention that. lol

And next to my name there is some sort of black box that obscures my name. Wait a minute...

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